Non-judgmental
to be or not to be...
During one of the many wonderful dialogues at the Teacher’s Retreat, Bali, organised by Zerosei Project, the idea of of being non-judgmental was being used and it got me thinking more about this word, that I have frequently used myself.
If being non-judgmental is something that is being seen as positive this implies being judgmental is something negative - but in reality it is a skill we all desperately need - we need to judge if we have the capacity to do something - whether that be physical risky play, or in our professional lives. We need to judge whether we know enough to be able to pass a fair judgement that will benefit ourselves and others - otherwise we might miss out on things, or put ourselves or others at a disadvantage.
Judgment is the ability to collate knowledge and to know whether this is reliable knowledge or not, and then to be able to make informed decisions that feel reasonable and sensible, and also to be able to recognise when you do not have enough reliable knowledge. Our judgment capacity is rooted in both knowledge and experience - so people with “poor” judgment can practice and become better. It is our ability to evaluate the situation and decide what our next step should be and what direction - which ties in nicely with my last post on poly-diadromic
Maybe instead of saying non-judgmental we should be saying we are open
Open to learning more, open to listening and finding out, open to changing our minds (doesn’t mean we have to - just that we are open to that possibility) it means we are open to seeing things from a new perspective, open to understand beyond our normative comprehension of the world…
Basically it means
we are unhurried enough to pause long enough to notice.
our attitude is welcoming enough to accept others think differently.
our empathy is evolved enough to understand we all have very different experiences - even of the same thing.
So from now on I will be avoiding the term “non-judgmental”. No doubt it will slip in every now and again as i adjust my language.
When I saw the word non-judgmental I assumed it meant towards other people. Not judging other people