(if you wish to listen to this post rather than read it, you can listen to a recording to the post, located after the image. I will be now doing this on all my posts on substack in an attempt to make them more inclusive)
Over the years I have often seen a quote stating that children laugh 300-400 times a day - adults laugh 20 times a day... and I wonder if this is really true - and I also wonder what kind of laughter are we talking about… not all laughter is connected to having fun. I have often encountered children (and adults) who laugh when they are nervous or anxious as a coping mechanism or as a way to instinctively diffuse the situation.
About a decade ago I spent a few days observing children’s and adults’ laughing behaviour, as well thinking about whether children in preschools laughed enough and wondered if preschool is a bad place? and are we stopping children from laughing as much as they should?
I have certainly never worked at a preschool where children are laughing so much more than the adults every day...
I started to get concerned... Am I missing the laughter ... which would seem to suggest that I am not doing a very good job of observing the children (which feels a very frightening thought)? Maybe I am terrible at counting? or maybe children simply do not laugh as much as 300-400 times a day - I mean, sometimes I think I laugh more than the children!!! I LOVE to laugh. I really believe in the health value of laughing especially with others. But, I still think about whether there is enough laughter in preschools - whether or not the 300-400 number is correct - if it is, then this would put children laughing 15-20 times more often than adults. This is very different from some research (1) done in Swedish preschools on laughter that revealed children laugh about 6 times more often than the adults there (clearly I was not working at the preschool, because sometimes I laugh at least as much as children when I am with them).
This Swedish research shows that children do laugh more than adults, just not as much as 300-400 times a day as per the social media info pretending to be research. When I try to find this “research” I reach a dead end - various places just write “research or study says” but doesn’t share the actual research… one place does give a reference, but simply to a place that shares “the research says” (2, 3 and 4).
Is it that these numbers are fake that children are laughing this much? Or is it that preschools reduce how much children laugh? Both are concerning thoughts.
Laughter is incredibly important, there is research and theories (5) suggesting that laughing is like grooming amongst animals, a way of creating connections and a sense of belonging. This is maybe why in the Swedish research (1) it was predominantly the children laughing with each other, and sometimes directed at the adults (the adult-adult and adult to child were less often) - the children are busy creating bonds. But maybe we should take a lesson from this, maybe we adults should be joining in the laughter like a social grooming and care giving?
Laughter has always been an important part of my pedagogy, or maybe it’s just the way I am, I genuinely find what the children do is filled with joy… and as my recent visit to Italy proved to me, I actually giggle and laugh out loud as a response to being filled with joy (much to the surprise of those I was walking with when suddenly a giggle of joy would erupt every so often - which of course after the third time became a thing that would make us laugh together).
Genuine laughter together is a great tool of equity. Laughter at others is power and can, if used cruelly, devastate the self-esteem of others, sometimes even their safety.
There is research (6) exploring the laughter between mother and infant and that the more the mother laughed, the more the infant laughed, and suggested that the infant tended to laugh more as a sign of communication, like language before being able to speak. Addyman (5) also writes this, that laughter is communication for young children and babies, and a tool to maintain the attention of adults/others. I mean, the sound of laughter is just the best, and is something I think we have been biologically designed to like, so we provide decent circumstances for children to thrive in. (unless you are a grumpy old man on the underground… ugh, once I was shouted at on the underground train for allowing my three children (2 yrs, 5yrs and 5yrs) laugh so much - he made all four of us cry, he was just so angry and so aggressive - lucky for us a man in his mid twenties stood up and said it wasn’t OK for him to behave in such a way and that children laughing should never be considered a problem… the rest of the train agreed and the grumpy man got off the next stop I gave my thanks to everyone, but I was still shocked.)
I see children laugh at different things from what adults would laugh at - but I think that might be because so much is new and filled with wonder - but at the same time children do not always laugh at what adults find funny! But that is because they lack the experience that would allow them to see things as funny (I don’t always laugh at what others think as funny either, and my daughters and I were the only ones in the cinema to laugh out loud at the Pride and Prejudice reference in the Barbie Movie… clearly the series is not a part of the Swedish culture in the same way).
I really think that adults sometimes believe that children laugh more because of WHEN the children laugh and because if adults cannot understand where the laughter is coming from they may perceive that children laugh at more things.
I do, though, think we should all think about laughter more. What makes the children laugh? How often do they laugh? And when? For what reasons do they laugh? Can we tell the difference between their laughs as to whether they think something is funny, or filled with wonder and joy, or if it is because they are afraid or some other emotion? What about older children, is there a difference in how they laugh and when?
When I was first doing these observations in March 2013, I told my son that I was writing about laughter - he said (age 8)
"Oh I know a lot about laughter. It makes you feel good.. really good"
It does. We have laughed a lot in my home - and I know one of my daughters has used laughter as a strategy when she feels nervous and uncomfortable - and therefore can laugh when she feels threatened - which got a bit confusing for her teachers when she was 6-8 years old!!
I also think about how laughter can create a sense of safety and permission. I think for some children they get locked in fear or trauma responses and laughter can be a first step to helping them - not for us to forcibly unlock the trauma, but that creating a safe place rooted in joy is what enables them to unlock it themselves. From there we create spaces for play and autonomy and it is important not to continue to entertain to elicit the laughter but to trust in the play. This is why being play-responsive requires a deep play literacy - to understand play, and to know when to intervene and when to step back in order to avoid interfering. Just as we need to learn the difference between joy-filled laughing, anxiety laughing and laughing to exert power over another.
References